Shawna Draper Shawna's Interview on Blog Talk Radio
My Tears Fall Inside
"A MUST read!" (Michelle Neel)
"BEST book I've read in a long time."
"It was superb!" (Dan Skousen)
My Feet crunched softly on the gravel lane as I gazed into silent darkness. The slight chill of a nocturnal breeze brushed my cheek-bones. A line of cottonwood trees bordered the lane on my left, their leaves rustling softly and unseen, helping me navigate the narrow passage on a moonless summer night. I had parked my car behind me on the paved street to prevent the noise of my tires from awakening the large family sleeping in the brick home at the end of a long private lane. That home was my destination but creating a disturbance at 2:09 a.m. was the last thing I wanted. . .
Suddenly, I paused as I heard a small, quivering child's voice say, "I'm f-f-fwightened." I knew that voice. It was the voice of a three-year-old girl who had struggled to find comfort somewhere--anywhere in the world. It was the voice of the traumatized child who had stubbornly kept me awake that night, the same child who had brought me to the home of a friend, anxious to find a warm, comfortable spot. The voice belonged to one of the many "people" inside of me.
That night (and others) I was searching desperately for wholeness and healing from a life of terror and abuse.
My Tears Fall Inside is the unusual story of how God worked directly with me (and through some very loving Christian disciples) to gather up my fractured soul and restore me to wholeness. Yes, the book is about overcoming sexual and satanic ritual abuse, but it does not focus on the details of that horror. Instead, it is filled with the Spirit of God as it focuses on the heroes that came into my life and helped me heal.
My books bring hope to victims of abuse--that no matter how bleak their life may seem now, or how traumatic their past has been, it is possible to heal and find joy and happiness. My story also gives help to those who are trying to support loved ones during the healing process.
The Silent Cries
"Compelling! I seriously couldn't put this book down. I recommend this book to everyone!" (Katie Ross)
"I was touched by all of the books, but The Silent Cries more than the others." (Gayle Grotegut)
Once upon a time there was a child whose life was so painful and traumatic, she chose to block out and forget every bad thing that had ever happened to her, and to create a different reality--one that she could cope with. The horrific abuse started at a very young age, so she was able to create pretend children (parts) inside, and all the bad things happened to them--not to her.
Although there was a "pretend" world inside of me, this book is not a fairytale but a true story of the rest of my journey--a journey that started with the book, My Tears Fall Inside.
The Silent Cries helps the reader gain a better understanding of the complexity of dealing with MPD or DID (Muliple Personality Disorder or Dissociative Identity Disorder). It offers an unusual opportunity to glimpse inside the private mind of a person with many "parts" and it shares the various perceptions of how these parts viewed the outside world versus their inside world. It also shows how eventually, the various parts of my personality learned to work together.
One of the most unique aspects of this book is that I included many of the conversations different personalities had with God. Parts wrote letters to God telling Him all their worries and then wrote down what they felt God was replying to them. Many readers say these prayer quotes are very special and their favorite parts of this book.
While this book gives a few specifics about what actually happened to me, it omits the goriest details of my horror so the reader can hopefully gain insight, inspiration, and hope in my happy ending. My therapist once told me the abuse I suffered was the worst thing that could happen to any person in this life. He said this because I not only lived through physical and emotional torture, but also mental and spiritual torture through the intense brainwashing of the satanists. With that in mind, it is my wish that you who read my books will gain a greater understanding of your own trials and a hope that no matter how bad your life may be at this time, you can come out on the other side and lead a happy and successful life.
Hear My Cry: Writings From My Soul
"Shawna's gift to be able to capture extremely complex and infinitely delicate emotions is from God. The light of Shawna's gift has been a beautiful open door for me." (Angela Johnson)
"Every day I pick a favorite writing from Hear My Cry, and then the next day, find another one. They really touched my heart. . . Wow. (Karen Cantrill)
A few months after I began therapy, my therapist was very concerned because even though my "parts" were willing to begin revealing what had happened to them, all of my emotions were completely blocked. My emotions were actually being held by other inside personalities that were well hidden. These emotions were so massive that my inside parts did not let them touch me. Over the previous ten years, I had quit crying altogether while my body suffered from severe chest pains, headaches, ulcers, etc. My therapist was very concerned and told me I HAD to find some way to release my feelings because those locked up emotions were injuring my body. He recommended writing, drawing, painting, poetry--anything that might relieve some of my physical symptoms.
The next time I felt chest pain, I decided to just write what came into my mind. I wrote four poems in an hour and the chest pain went away. The writings poured out of me as if great flood gates had opened and the water could no longer be stopped. I found that I was compelled to write because it was the ONLY way I could express the feelings that were locked inside.
Everyone experiences pain and heartache at some point in their lives. For this reason, the book has the potential to help anyone who has ever felt pain, sadness, betrayal, anger, fear, depression and a myriad of other emotions.
For those who have suffered from abuse, the poems in this book often give voice to feelings victims have never been able to put into words. They also have the potential to bring greater understanding to those, not personally abused, but who are trying to help and support a loved one who is struggling to heal from abuse.
Hear My Cry: Writings From My Soul is the complete compilation of these poems and a companion to the other two books.
Audio Books and
Sunday, May 17@ Slate Canyon Youth Center, Provo, UT
Past Speaking Events:
May 14 and 15 @ Corner Canyon High School, Draper, UT
May 12, 2015 @ Payson High School, Payson, UT
April 23, 2015 @ Renaissance Ranch, Sandy, UT
April 18, 2015 on Spanish radio,1640 a.m. with a translator. Also available on the interenet @ super1640.com
April 17, 2015 @ Natural Philosophy at 7 pm in Logan, UT
April 11, 2015 @ Firm Foundation Expo, Orem, UT
April 9, 2015 @ Firm Foundation Expo, Orem, UT
March 19, 2015, @ the "Healer's Blueprint" training, American Fork,UT.
January 31, 2015 @ LDS Holistic Family Health Expo, in Logan, UT.
December 18, 2014, Corner Canyon High School, Draper, UT.
October 28, 2014 @ Roy, UT
September 19, 2014 @ Highland Community Center, Highland, UT
September 2, 2014 to a group of Young Women ages 12-18 years old, in American Fork, UT
May 29, 2014 @ West High School, SLC, UT
May 22, 2014 @ West High School, SLC, UT
May 22, 2014 @ Jordan Applied Technology Center, West Jordan, UT
May 21, 2014 @ Bonneville High School, Ogden, UT
May 19, 2014 @ Maryknoll Catholic High School, Honolulu, HI
May 6, 2014 @ Corner Canyon High School, Draper, UT
April 15, 2014 @ ELP at
Stevens-Henager College, Orem, UT.
Feb. 7, 2014 Part of panel for discussion of satanic ritual abuse in Utah at Highland City Hall.
Oct. 21, 2013 Online interview with author Michael James Fitzgerald. He is the author of over 20 books. michael james fitzgerald: Author Interview: Shawna Draper
Oct. 8, 15, and 22, 2013 at Toastmasters in Sandy, UT
Oct. 3, 2013 in San Antonio, TX
Sept. 12, 2013
at Stevens-Henager College, Orem, UT.
July 16, 2013 in Spanish Fork, UT
June 28, 2013 in Draper, UT
April 15, 2013 in Syracuse, UT
April 2, 2013 in Orem, UT, to the ChainBreaker Foundation
March 26, 2013 in Fruit Heights, UT
December 14, 2012 in Pleasant Grove, UT
November 9, 2012 in Pleasant Grove, UT
September 14, 2012 in Provo, UT.
To Schedule Speaking Engagements: